As I write this I have a bag of nachos sitting in my lap and Remember Me playing on my Dvd player. Ive already seen the first half an hour of the movie so I'm not totally neglecting it by writing on here. I've been feeling strange lately - and it hasn't anything to do with how sick I'm feeling - I keep being given opportunities that I'm passing or second guessing about. Recently my roommate suggested a vacation - She wanted to go to Panama , and I shrugged and said "Maybe" - which actually translated for me as "No." I don't know whats wrong with me? Normally I'll jump at the chance to escape what I'm used to a venture out but recently the ideas don't seem to become reality. Its like I'm becoming afraid of change or difference which isn't like me at all, I'm always the one to go "I cant wait to leave home, I need to get as far away as possible" but now that that time is finally upon me I find myself shrinking away and ducking my head - coward Alyssa? Also boredom keeps occurring - like more than usual. There just isn't anything to do. Well there is I just don't want to do it. But a couple days ago I've decided to go back home to California, that trip is seriously way overdue so I hope that makes me feel better. I wish life was as easy as it is portrayed in films or that I have some inkling of what my fate is. I usually thrive on knowing the unknown, but right now it actually kinda scares me. Isn't my generation supposed to think they know everything? I've never been so sure that I know nothing right now.
Sorry, this is really boring, serious, not-like-me-at-all, writing. Besides Remember Me is waiting and I must go, and nachos are waiting to be eaten.
